For Better or WorseApr 11, 2023
FOR BETTER OR WORSE
Standing at the altar didn't you feel your love would overcome any 'worse' scenario?! We have this belief we will be the couple who is different and conquer any trial that comes our way. How do you handle 'worse' scenarios in your marriage? How do you handle just the day-to-day struggles?
Over the years, we've practiced checking in every week.
We talk about three things:
- Our schedule for the week
- Our hopes and dreams and
- Our celebrations and frustrations
The schedule seems like an unnecessary item but it does help avoid you avoid logistical conflicts. It also helps remind you of events that are important to your spouse. It's a great way to make a mental note to follow up with them and tell them you're thinking/praying for them.
HOPES and DREAMS
The second item we talk about is our hopes and dreams. We discuss them without the worry of how much they cost. It might seem a weekly discussion is too frequent but we've learned our hopes and dreams change with life's circumstances. Some dreams drop off, and some new ones get started. Couples have told us they thought they knew their spouse's dreams only to find out they were on parallel paths going in separate directions. Share your hopes and dreams with your spouse.
FRUSTRATIONS AND CELEBRATIONS
The final thing we ask is whether have we done anything to hurt each other. This helps prevents hurts and offenses from building to the point where you find yourself saying, "You've never met my needs in our marriage." For years we only focused on what went wrong that week. Our counselor reminded us to also share what went right, as well. It was important to learn and repeat what we were doing correctly.
Checking in every week creates emotional intimacy. There are times when there is no conflict to discuss and it's a great reminder to share what is going well. Who doesn't like positive encouragement? It's easy to take each other for granted. With this emotional intimacy built up week after week, we are able to weather the 'worse' storms without decimating our relationship.
Learn new communication skills you can immediately apply in your marriage and some harder skills (with practice) that will transform your marriage.